The Gnu Song

Here's another animal song. A year ago, last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo, When I met a man who thought he knew the lot. He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons, And the number of quills a porcupine has got. So I asked him, "What's that creature there?" He answered, "Oh it's a h-elk." I might have gone on thinking that was true, If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame, When it remarked, "I hain't a h-elk! I'm a g-nu! I'm a g-nu, I'm a g-nu, The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo. I'm a g-nu, how d'you do? You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho! I'm a g-nu, spelled G N U, I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo, So let me introduce, I'm g-neither man or moose, Oh g-no g-no g-no, I'm a g-nu!" I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea, Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne, it was actually. And the second night I stayed there, I was wakened from a dream, Which I'll tell you all about... some other time. Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed, Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew. A bison? No, not a bison. An okapi? It's unlikely really. Could it be a hartebeest? Then I seemed to hear a voice: "I'm a g-nu! I'm a g-nu, a g-nother g-nu. I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you. I'm a g-nu, how d'you do? You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho! I'm a g-nu, spelled G N U, Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue; G-nor am I in the least like that dreadful hartebeest, Oh g-no g-no g-no, G-no g-no g-no, I'm a g-nu! G-no g-no g-no, I'm a g-nu!