album cover
On Star / Texting
album cover
On Star / Texting was released on September 17, 2013 by Jack/Warner Records/LoudMouth Entertainment as a part of the album Don't Ever Touch Anybody You Don't Know
September 17, 2013
LabelJack/Warner Records/LoudMouth Entertainment
LanguageEnglish
BPM187
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Lyrics

If I ever retire from show business, as my next gig
I wanna work for OnStar for one day
'Cause they'll fire me for messing with people
How can you resist? You've got all the controls to their car
There's a microphone, a speaker
You can listen in, find a little retired couple
On the way to the flea market, minding their own business
Just cut the wipers on for no reason
Do you see that? What?
My cataract might be coming back
You can tell how fast people are going
Catch 'em like in rush hour traffic, stop and go school traffic
Every time their car stops, just start blowing their horn, ah!
Not be, be, be an ass, ah!
Work the midnight shift
You could lead people to the Lord at 2 a.m.
Oh, you can hear 'em in their party, man
Popping beer cans, smoking a hog leg
Cut that speaker up real loud
Jesus knows where you're headed
And our censors show all y'all's seats are wet
Drunk drivers would be funny as hell
Y'all, y'all, it is a scientific fact
That any time a drunk driver runs off the road
Somebody cut him off
That was on Discovery Channel, no, it was on Cops
They'd be buzzing in
Hell damn, man, somebody cut me off
I'd be like, boy, I can smell beer from here
They'd be freaking out, they'd be buzzing
The cops are here, what am I gon' do?
I'm like, you're good
Just move your mouth, let me do the talking
I could get people tasered, I swear I could
Hear the cop knock on the window
Roll the back one down like a smart ass
Make gun noises over the speaker
Roll the window down
Your daughter, she is pretty naked, roll it back
He's had them stupid stuff
Get out of the car and run
Run, hug the police dog, they love that
I love y'all, this is fun, man
Have y'all had fun? Worth every dollar
Next time I'm here, return my dang text
Man, I bought a, y'all, I bought this new (y'all), all y'all
I bought a smartphone the other day
I went from buttons to a damn bouncy-ass touch screen
It's an Android widget board or
One of those phones that when you do a text
It'll send its version of it, which is annoying as hell
Especially if you're already stupid
Then you're like, dumbass
You know, I was coming here
I needed to talk to some people about doing some
Anyway, I sent this guy a mail
I go, dude, I go, you got that number?
My phone sends
Dude, you got that numbness?
He sends back, yeah, I do, got up with it yesterday
Might have caught it from the kids
I'm like, you're good
I'm trying not to text and drive
You know what the problem is?
We're trying to not text and drive
People that know you're drivin' will text you
My wife will send me text messages to be careful
I try to wait and check my text
When I get, like, to red lights and stuff like that
Still, people give you dirty looks
What I did, y'all, you might want to try this
I got a ball of yarn and wrapped it around my phone
And got some knitting needles and put little rubber bands on them
So I put them on my thumb so it looks like I'm crocheting
That way, if the cops go, are you driving and texting
Hell no, I'm knitting a sweater
I'm knitting a sweater for a police dog
Hey, I'm Killer Beaz
Thank you very much
Y'all have been awesome
Man, thank you
Written by: Truett S Beasley, Jr.
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