I've Had a Very Merry Christmas

It was the day after Christmas

And all I could think about were the ginger peachy presents I received

"Ginger peachy", that’s a laugh! Ha, ha, ha

The shirts were swell, the socks were fine

They're all size ten, but my feet are size nine

I've had a very merry Christmas

The watch won't run, the wallet's split

The gloves are small, the pajamas don't fit

I've had a very merry Christmas

Ten dozen hankies

A gift of Aunty Rose's

Ten dozen hankies

She must think I'm covered with noses!

Six neckties, they're all handmade

They're lovely ties, but they're all the same shade

Oh, I've had a very merry Christmas!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Give my heart a lift

Tomorrow I'll be on my way

Exchanging every gift!

Oh, I'm so disappointed

I've never been so disillusioned!

The pen won't write, the slippers gap

The bathrobe's tight, and the camera won't snap

I've had a very merry Christmas

Those darn cigars are much too strong

The sweater's wide, and the shorts are too long

I've had a very merry Christmas

Six pairs of swim trunks

A present that my firm made

Six pairs of swim trunks

They must think I married a mermaid!

Hat's too small, the ring ain't gold

The muffler's thin, and I caught a good cold

A-choo!

I've had a very merry Christmas!

Yeah, fine Christmas I had

But don't get me wrong, I'm not too unhappy

I'm just miserable!