Johnny Jump Up / Morrison's Jig

I'll tell ye a story that happened to me One day as I went out to Youghal by the Sea The sun it was bright and the day it was warm Says I, A quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm I went to the barman, I says give me a stout Says the barman, I'm sorry all the beer tis sold out Try whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood Says I, I'll try cider, I heard it was good Chorus: Oh never, oh never, oh never again If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up After lowering the third I headed strait for the yard Where I bumped into Brophy the big civic guard He says come here to me boy don't you know we're in the law Well i upped with my fist and i shot to his jaw He fell to the ground with his knees crumpled up But it T'wasnt I hit him t'was the johnny jump And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the Sea Was a cripple on crutches, and says he to me I'm afraid o' me life I'll be hit by a car Would you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar And after three pints of the cider so sweet He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet Chorus Now I went up the Lee road a friend to see They call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee But when I got up there, the truth I do to tell They had the poor bugger locked up in his cell Says the guard testing him, say these words if you can 'Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran' Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad T'was only six pints of that cider I had Now a man died in the Union by the name of McNabb They washed him and laid him outside on a slab And after the corroner his measurements did take His wife took him home to a bloody fine wake 'Twas about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high The corpse he sat up and he says with a sigh I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up Till I bring them a pint of the Johnny Jump Up Chorus X2