Play Your Cards Wrong

If you play your cards wrong You can take me home tonight You've got all the makings Of my future ex-wife I've got 3 bucks My credit sucks And my future don't look to bright If you play your cards wrong You can take me home tonight Some call me a loser And a lazy no good slob I've lost my house I've got no car I cant keep a job But i've got a big heart And another part Take me home, you'll understand Because my genitalia looks like a pringles can If you play your cards wrong You can take me home tonight When i pull my pants down Hey you won't believe i'm white It's been said that i'm Mr. Ed But don't worry, I won't bite If you play your cards wrong You can take me home tonight Some call me dishonest And they say i'm just lyin' But i peed next to ol' John Holmes and He started cryin' On a sunny day i've got it made Get under my wiener if you need shade If you play your cards wrong You can take me home tonight