album cover
100 Things To Remember
2,256
Comedy
100 Things To Remember was released on January 1, 1999 by Capitol Nashville as a part of the album Gettin' My Mind Right
album cover
Release DateJanuary 1, 1999
LabelCapitol Nashville
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM148

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Tim Wilson
Tim Wilson
Performer
David Hood
David Hood
Bass
Dean Daughtry
Dean Daughtry
Keyboards
Cliffie Stone
Cliffie Stone
Guitar
Roger Hawkins
Roger Hawkins
Drums
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Tim Wilson
Tim Wilson
Composer
Jimmy Rector
Jimmy Rector
Composer
Danny Simpson
Danny Simpson
Composer
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Tim Wilson
Tim Wilson
Producer
Steve Melton
Steve Melton
Mixing Engineer
Charles Hart Jr.
Charles Hart Jr.
Assistant Mixing Engineer
Denny Purcell
Denny Purcell
Mastering Engineer
Jonathan Russell
Jonathan Russell
Mastering Engineer

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
I had a crazy uncle that was on his deathbed a long time ago
He said, "Boy, there's a hundred things in life every man needs to know to survive"
And here's thirty-nine of 'em
[Verse 2]
A virgin don't never drive a z-28
Never bet the ranch on your prostate
If it's got an Adam's apple, it's probably a man
Never trust a gay gypsy with the palm of your hand
She didn't accidentally get good in bed
You can't join the church if you're already dead
A work uniform ain't totally nude
Brim and bass ain't seafood
When there's guns in the house, one better be yours
Don't be naked next to any fishin' lures
If there's girl scout cookies, she's a little too young
If you say, "I do", be the ugly one
Don't ever let a bald man borrow your comb
Never play strip poker in a nursin' home
Don't blame your pallbearers 'cause they don't show
If you're buried in the middle of the Super Bowl
[Verse 3]
Let people borrow money, they'll leave you alone
Never fry bacon without a shirt on
Never spray water on a hornet's nest
A woman rarely aces the driver's test
The sign probably don't really mean massage
Never threaten anybody in camouflage
Say you love her till she lays down the butcher knife
Never put the move on the boss's wife
She messin' 'round on ya if your briefs don't fit
Never trust a hitchhiker to babysit
Cosmo's never in a happy home
You can't cut a deal with a kidney stone
A politician ain't got an HMO
Washin' her hair means she don't wanna go
Don't ridicule a biker about his tattoo
You been married nine times, hell, maybe it's you
[Verse 4]
Doom ain't the same as Donkey Kong
If he's wearin' high heels you mighta raised him wrong
The clinic ain't the best place to pick up dates
Don't rent a room from a man named Bates
A tank top's never on a billionaire
Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there
How many get to heaven?
No one knows
But hell'll be asses and elbows
[Verse 5]
And then he died
Crazy fool rolled over and died
And never did tell me what them other sixty-one things were
So if anybody out there knows
How 'bout gettin' ahold of me at Timwilson.net
Written by: Danny Simpson, Jimmy Rector, Tim Wilson
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