I smoked consulates and park drive

Drank Nookie Brown, learned how to skive

Polo mints to hide my breath from my mum

Did a little weed 'cause it felt like fun

Did a little speed if my friend had some

Nicked Volkswagen badges, I'm a Beastie Boys son

Me so horny, me so young

And I still get my washing done

Auntie Jo died of cancer, God didn't have an answer

Rhythm was a dancer, any room for a chancer

That's me in the corner, thanks sir (thank sir)

Wore a troop tracksuit, British knight shoes

Kangol hat like L.L. Cools

Before I was having it, having it large

They nicked the B.M.X. from out of my garage

Knew it was tier from off the estate

'Cause every time he sees me, he smiled like we were mates

Then on in, I'd have to walk to me Nan's

And I'll dream my dreams through a sea of prams

Like a hooligan on the football stands

And I throw the V's to Leeds and West Ham

Then I ran, I ran so far away, down Scotia Road to a taxi bay

Then I ran again 'cause I couldn't pay

Young Muslim didn't get his fare that day

I apologise today

Things look better when they start

That's how the '80s broke my heart

And who are you calling 'poof'?

You like wham man, I hate that stuff

And then my Granddad died, and left a hole in the family

And lots of women had to nanny me

School was a laugh, they didn't have ADD

Thick was the term they used for me

(Over and over) repeatedly, (over and over)

Take my breath away (take my breath away)

Pass the bidley, bidley, bidley, bidley bong (pass the bidley, bidley, bidley, bidley bong)

Pass it on the left-hand side, right turn, Clyde

That girl in the fourth year got pregnant

And she was raised Catholic, brilliant

I cried, she cried, we cried, her youth died

Drank cider in the cemetery

The year above us had discovered 'E'

And I said it weren't for me

12 pounds 50, I could rob me mum's purse and buy one off chalky

Met a girl on Monday, drank fizzy pop on Tuesday

Fingered her on Wednesday

And on Thursday and Friday

And on Saturday, dumped by Sunday

Things look better when they start

That's how the '80s broke my heart

The wonder years I've played my part

That's how the '80s broke my heart

Like I said, I lost my virginity to a girl called Anne-Marie

Well, she said she fancied me

And then she said, "Fuck me" and I thought fuck me

I'm all talk, and it'll be over too quickly

And it was, but I couldn't care less

I'd seen a girl's part, made a mess on her dress

Oh, yes, you're now rocking with the best

Second person in my year that had seen a breast

I'm in my 30s now, and I'm still impressed

Why the Falklands, Mum, and what have they done?

Where do girls come from

Where do girls come from, where do girls come from?

It's the '80s, what you looking at, you mong?

So young, so long, so young

So long, too short, so long

What you looking at, you mong?

Too short, so long, too short, so long, so long