Santa's Rap

Kool Moe Dee: Ho Ho Ho Open up ya do' I'm Santa Claus and guess what y'all I got something to show I came to bring some Christmas Spirit I got a big bag now guess what's in it Something for the rich and something for the po' So Merry Christmas and ho ho ho L.A. Sunshine: Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas my foot I'ma tell you what Santa really put Under my so-called tree but in reality Looked like nothin but a decorated pole to me Special K: Man, you talk about a tree it makes wonder Cause I never had a tree to put anything under If I ever did luck up and get a tree There was never anything under it for me Kool Moe Dee: Man I don't what y'all talking about Cause when I come to your town I just get chased out I thought you would be happy to see Santa Claus But all y'all say is stick 'em up and give me yours L.A. Sunshine: You lucky all you did was get ripped off The next just keep your big fat ass up north Because after my last few Christmas nights If I see you around my neighborhood I'm shooting on sight Special K: And I ain't even got a chimney for you to come down So ain't no need for you to be coming around Cause the last so called Santa that came in with a sack Wasn't giving out presents he was taking them back Kool Moe Dee: Man y'all should be glad that I didn't quit Cause I'm getting too old for this Santa Claus shit Y'all thinking I'm getting presents made for free I gotta' pay them elves and ain't nobody paying me L.A. Sunshine: You big fat whale you might as well quit Cause I can name a hundred presents that I didn't get And if I did get a present it would be a hand-me-down Yo I got this for Christmas now how that sound Special K: It sounds good to me cause I'm about to freeze You wanna see something look at the bottom of these Me and brothers can't go out at the same time Cause a coat that's theirs is a coat that's mine Kool Moe Dee: Man I know one thing y'all better get off my neck And wait till you get ya welfare check Go on down to the office and stand on the line Better hurry up see I got mine Chorus: Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po' And once you get your welfare check Yo kiss my mistletoe Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho L.A. Sunshine: That's why the presents keep getting mixed up Cause year after year you keep fucking up And now I know why cause you're always drunk Instead of G.I. Joe you send me this junk Special K: That ain't a G.I. Joe that's a G.I. jerk With a kungfu grip that don't even work So all I did was just put him away Cause my G.I. Joe looked G.I. gay Kool Moe Dee: That's why you don't get presents now Cause you're just ingrates If the G.I. Joe is gay what difference does it make After all he's just a doll ain't too much he can do If you ask me boy I ain't to sure about you Special K: Man forget about that what about these shoes Instead of Christmas Carols I'm singing the blues Staring at the clock looking hard at the time Cause I just played the number combinated on a dime L.A. Sunshine: I played 234 and put a penny on 7 Combinated 412 and deleted 11 Put my last five cents on 356 And after all that I didn't hit shit Chorus: Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po' And once you get your welfare check You won't play in numbers no mo Ho, ho, ho won't play'em no mo L.A. Sunshine: Alright listen bloato which your big fat suit Next time say no don't send no substitute Because I asked you for a beatbox and you know what I got? Doug E Fresh, you know that kid from down the block Doug E Fresh: (Beatboxing)...fresh! Special K: For a fascimile we must admit Doug E Fresh is good and made a perfect fit He's the only reason why we weren't totally mad Without Doug E our Christmas would've been really sad Chorus: Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po' And once you get your welfare check Even Doug E Fresh go go Ho, ho, ho Doug E Fresh go go L.A. Sunshine: To top Christmas off I had no loving in a while I love to have sex but I can't afford a child My girl wants a baby but I had to chill She said if you don't want a baby then you take the pill Special K: What is Christmas for? Huh What is Christmas for? L.A. Sunshine: What is Christmas for? L.A. Sunshine & Special K: Yeah! What is Christmas for? Kool Moe Dee: Wind up toys that don't wind up Talking dolls that don't shut up This is the type of present that you buy when you're poor So that's what you have to settle for And it ain't no secret that everything's sunny If you're living in Palm Springs with all that money Americanomics works and I won't argue that is true But if the economy is getting better, getting better for who? Well if you ask me I'm doing much worse than before With the welfare cuts I don't eat no more So if I did wanna' go out I couldn't go no where Cause I ate every last one of them reindeer Rudolph first I went down the list I got so hungry I just couldn't resist I ate Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Dixon Fried'em up and then started to mix'em And before you knew it they were all gone I wonder what y'all gonna do about my reindeer song L.A. Sunshine & Special K: We'll sing silent night and jingle bells And all those christmas rhymes Cause nobody gives a shit About your reindeer and hard times You just Jingle and Jangle and hang out with the po And when you get your welfare check You can rent them by the sto Kool Moe Dee: Well let's get Doug E Fresh and Magnificent Force And head on out the do And leave these party people singing Jingle, Jangle for the po Chorus: Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po' Don't take us for granted cause you may never know One day when you least expect it We could even up the sco So just jingle, jangle, jingle with the po' Sing! Jingle, jangle, a jingle jangle with the po' Jingle, jangle, jingle with the po' Jingle, jangle, a jingle jangle with the po' Jingle, jangle, jingle with the po'