My Dead Gay Son

You wait just a minute, Paul! It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours That makes this world a place Our boys could not live in! They were not dirty! They were not wrong! They were two lonely verses In the Lord's great song! Our boys were pansies, Bill! Yes! My boy's a homosexual And that don't scare me none I want the world to know I love my dead gay son! I've been thinkin', prayin' Readin' some magazines And it's time we opened our eyes Well, the good Lord made the universe The Lord created man And I believe it's all a part Of his gigantic plan I know God has a reason For each mountain and each flower And why he chose to let our boys Get busy in the shower They were not dirty (no-oh!) They were not fruits (whoa-oh!) They were just two stray laces (ooh-ooh-ooh) In the Lord's big boots (ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!) Well, I never cared for homos much Until I reared me one But now I've learned to love I love my dead gay son! (He loves his son, he loves his son) (His dead gay son) Now I Say my boy's in heaven And he's tannin' by the pool The cherubim walk him and him And Jesus says it's cool They don't have crime or hatred There's no bigotry or cursin' Just friendly fellows dressed up Like their favorite Village Person (ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!) They were not dirty (no, no!) They just had flair (whoa-oh!) They were two bright red ribbons (ooh-ooh-ooh) In the Lord's long hair (ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!) Well, I used to see a homo And go reachin' for my gun But now I've learned to love And furthermore! These boys, were brave as hell These boys, they knew damn well Those folks would judge 'em They were desperate to be free They took a rebel stance Stripped to their underpants Paul, I can't believe that you Still refuse to get a clue After all that we been through I'm talking you and me In the summer of '83 That was one hell of a fishing trip Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa They were not dirty (no!) And not perverse (no, no!) They were two stray rhinestones On the Lord's big purse Our jobs is now continuing The work that they begun ('Cause now we love, love, love) (We love your dead-) They're up there disco dancing (ooh-ooh-ooh) To the thump of angel wings (ooh-ooh, yeah!) They grab a mate and roller skate (ooh-ooh-ooh) While Judy Garland sings (ooh-ooh, yeah!) They live a playful afterlife (ooh-ooh-ooh) That's fancy-free and reckless (ooh-ooh-ooh!) They swing upon the pearly gates And wear a pearly necklace Woo! They were not dirty (no!) They were good men (whoa-oh!) And now they're happy bear cubs In the Lord's big den Go forth and love each other now Like our boys would have done We'll teach the world to love The world to love I love my dead gay son My son! My son! Your dead gay son! (hey-hey-hey, whoa-oh, whoa-oh!)