Scallywag

Oh, you filthy urchins

You low down dirty scallywags

You filthy sea cucumbers

Step back and watch a professional at work

I get around, circumnavigate

I see clown acts who'd make better badger bait

They want it now but have had to wait

When Prof stands on stage they're a tad afraid

They're right to be, there's none like me

Prof L take a loss? Unlikely

I take umbrage, I'm disgusted

Sorry dear boy, you don't cut the mustard

Before you think about rhyming

You need breath control, right voice, tight timing

Before you chat pop or get to nerdcore

Have respect for the hip hop you've heard before

Not just a silly suit and amusing hat

Although it doesn't hurt, I leave you to choose that

You need to go back to the lab to practice

Or get slapped quick by the king of the chaps

You're a scallywag, a dirty urchin

Please step back when real chaps are working

Sit down, listen up, I don't mean to be rude

Take a letter from your betters, mind your P's and Q's

You're a scallywag, an unworthy gherkin

Please step back when real chaps are working

Sit yourself down, what you need to do

Is take a letter from your betters, mind your P's and Q's

To the trolls or the try hards, entitled die hards

Snobs I find hard to stop when my guard

Is off and I start to find myself

Trapped at a show, I know you do mean well

And I love to chat, something I do do well

But you want to talk at length, oh God, do tell

I just got off stage, I might need a breather

Give me a few feet my little eager beaver

Don't be rude, don't be that dude

That spews and sprays shoes with your old food

It's humid and you've had too much brew

Let's move on, what you've got to do

99% Of nightmares are so fresh

So maybe go home, it might be for the best

Step off, have a dance, have a lark, have a laugh

'Cause when you stop talking the party can start

You're a scallywag, a dirty urchin

Please step back when real chaps are working

Sit down, listen up, I don't mean to be rude

Take a letter from your betters, mind your P's and Q's

You're a scallywag, an unworthy gherkin

Please step back when real chaps are working

Sit yourself down, what you need to do

Is take a letter from your betters, mind your P's and Q's

Yes, that told you as much. Now don't start crying. Look

I... no, it's very nice that you enjoyed it. You shouldn't

Have tried to battle me. That was your first mistake really

I get around, circumnavigate

I see clown acts who'd make better badger bait

They want it now but have had to wait

When Prof stands on stage they're a tad afraid

You're a scallywag, a dirty urchin

Please step back when real chaps are working

Sit down, listen up, I don't mean to be rude

Take a letter from your betters, mind your P's and Q's

You're a scallywag, an unworthy gherkin

Please step back when real chaps are working

Sit yourself down, what you need to do

Is take a letter from your betters, mind your P's and Q's