Changing My Major

What happened last night Are you really here? Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan Hi Joan! Don't wake up Joan Oh my God last night Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God last night I was so excited I was too enthusiastic Thank you for not laughing, Well you laughed a little bit At one point when I was touching you And said I might lose consciousness Which you said was adorable And I just have to trust That you don't think I'm an idiot Or some kind of an animal I never lost control due to overwhelming lust But I must Say that I'm Changing my major to Joan I'm changing my major to sex with Joan I'm changing my major to sex with Joan With a minor in kissing Joan Foreign study to Joan's inner thighs A seminar on Joan's ass in her Levi's And Joan's crazy brown eyes Joan I feel like Hercules Oh God that sounds ridiculous Just keep on sleeping through this And I'll work on calming down So by the time you've woken up I'll be cool I'll be collected And I'll have found some dignity But who needs dignity 'Cause this is so much better I'm radiating happiness Will you stay here with me For the rest of the semester We won't need any food We'll live on sex alone Sex with Joan I am writing a thesis on Joan It's a cutting edge field and my mind is blown I would gladly stay up every night to hone My compulsory skills with Joan I will study my way down her spine Familiarize myself with her well-made outline While she researches mine I don't know who I am I've become someone new Nothing I just did Is anything I would do Over night everything changed I am not prepared I'm dizzy, I'm nauseous, I'm shaky I'm scared Am I falling into nothingness Or flying into something so sublime I don't know But I'm Changing my major to Joan I thought all my life I'd be all alone But that was before I was lying prone In this dorm room bed with Joan Look she drooled on the pillow So sweet All sweaty and tangled up in my bed sheet And my heart feels complete Let's never leave this room How 'bout we stay here to finals I'll go to school forever I'll take out a dementedly high huge interest loan 'Cause I'm changing my major To Joan