Divorce Me C.O.D.

I just bought me a great long ticket I'm gonna use it at 4 p.m. 

So you can call your secret love and tell the news to him

Well you talked your little romance was on the strict QT

So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. divorce me C.O.D. 

I won't be 'round to hear you cry

I'm Texas bound and bye and bye

You can reach me down in Dallas, just general delivery

So if you want your freedom PDQ divorce me C.O.D. 

There's gonna come a day gal when you'll be feeling blue

You'll find you can't pay your bills with a little ol' I.O.U. 

This dynamite you're messing with, it may be TNT

So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. divorce me C.O.D. 

No need to fall down on your knees

'Cause I know all my ABC's

Well I ain't no college professor, I ain't got no PhD

But if you want your freedom P.D.Q. divorce me C.O.D. 

Divorce me C.O.D.