Bad Habits

I don't know how deep to go, but imma let it all out so come peep the show Got my first xaney of my mate, I ain't gonna say his name It was fun at the start, I used to treat it like a game This around the time when The Nebulizer dropped I was on all types of shit, but there's one I couldn't stop And it played with my brain, but I focused on the music I focused so much, didn't realise I abused it Never had a plan to stop, not in that prediction Going through fame, couldn't see I had addictions 1 turned to 2, turned to 3, turned to 4 then I need about 6 a day, a little bit more Mixing it with lean, gotta stop people seeing What damages can be by looking at me, shit What to do cause I feel like a fool and I hate any rapper making xaney's look cool Shit was getting bad I was filled up with hateful Thoughts in my mind, I would argue with April Agreed I would stop, shit I'd give it a go By the first fucking night, felt like slitting my throat Second night, my body shaking The ambulance appear and I'm thinking in my mind, what the fuck they doing here? Suddenly I'm caught up and there's no time to muck round Lucky I got here, cause my body 'bout to shut down Back to square one, nah man you can't quit You gotta wean yourself off, that's some hard shit What the fuck man, my brain is a mess I can't remember that much, feel the pain in my legs I wish it was that easy, I could give up and go And people still got the hide to tell me pick up my phone Maybe that's my fault, I didn't speak on it much I didn't see if as a problem, I would keep it from cunts Rates could always tell, when I couldn't pronounce certain words, brain dead Yeah should I be proud? Anxiety was killin' me, the doctors couldn't deal with me Put me on a program cut me down on the pills and weed All scared, cause I feel on my own I told 'em "let me chill', now they think I'm dissing them bro Waking up tired, I gotta take more pills And I didn't even wanna take 'em, is this fuckin for real? Losing touch of myself, it's like reality's false It's like I'm walking around without having a pulse It's a feeling of death, or like nothing is left Cause there I'm holding my chest, just put a hole in my head You see the older I get, It's getting scary as fuck I'm like an eighteen in the head, I weren't aware of those drugs The shit that they cause, I talk to mirrors on walls I don't need this shit ever, but to pills I will fall I opened up on 'No Rest' told cunts everything That I done ice, didn't leave out anything I quit that shit, yeah I left it flat dead That was 5 years ago, they still think I'm a crackhead If that's what we going off, fuck me dead In 5 years I'll be clean, they'll be calling me a xaney head Funny how the world works for a paycheck Once the fame hit, I became a train wreck I wasn't shit anyway, so why does it count? Why so many people love me? I can't figure it out But I'm telling you now, don't you follow my path Look you couldn't if you tried, cause I'm going in hard Fuck a poppin a pill, just to go out today How'd I end up like this? I don't know, it's a way Well I'm blaming the fame, yeah I said it before But it's enough to make me high, feel like ending it all, but I Brush it off got my fans on my side too And my girl and my brothers and the whole crew Spilling the truth, it's like all I can do That's why I don't have time for rappers that are saying they're true When they lie to their fans, apologize in the end I never lied to mine and this is why I'm the man I tell you what I'm going through, I don't care what they think That's why I'm triple popping pills, leaning over the sink I'm almost fuckin crying as I'm writing this shit Cause of all my close ones, and the lives I affect I came from the bottom, I made it my problem Created the option, now fame has adoptin' My brain gotta stop it, insane I am not this Strange we got Scot sick, imma watch a clock tick Just fuck off, I said it just fuck off If I won't have my tablets I'll find a bridge to jump off Fuckin idiots, thinking that the shit is cool 'Till they dyin' in the vomit of there own drool What I meant to say? Don't do what I done I've cut down on the program, yeah I've won Repped it from the street, turned into a star then Caught a fuckin habit on the xanex but the bars went Crazy and I'm just dealing with fame I just want my fans to know that I'll still be the same. I'm good