The Bed Song

Exhibit A: We are friends in a sleeping bag Splitting the heat we have one filthy pillow to share And your lips are in my hair Someone upstairs has a rap that we laugh at And people are drinking and singing the scarborough fair On a ukelele dare Exhibit B: Well we found an apartment It's not much to look at A futon on the floor Dirty desktop for a door All the decors made of milk crates and duct tape And if we have sex they can hear us through the floor But we don't do that anymore And I lay there wondering what is the matter Is this a matter of worse or of better You took the blanket so I took the bed sheet And I would have held if you'd only let me Exhibit C: Look how quaint and how quiet and private Our pay checks have bought us a condo in town It's the nicest flat around You picked a mattress and had it delivered And I walked upstairs and the sight of it made my heart pound And I wrapped my arms around me And I lay there wondering what is the matter Is this a matter of worse or of better You walked right past me and straightened the covers And I would still love you if you wanted a lover And you said: "All the money in the world Won't buy a bed so big and wide To guarantee that you won't accidentally touch me in the night Then I said: "You must be right" Exhibit D: Now we are both mostly paralyzed Don't know how long we've been lying here in fear Too afraid to even feel I find my glasses and you turn the light out Roll off on your side like you've rolled away for years Holding back those king-sized tears And I still don't ask you what is the matter Is it a matter of worse or of better You take the heart-failure I'll take the cancer I've long since stopped wondering why you don't answer Exhibit E: You can certainly see How fulfilling a life from the cost and size of stone Of our final resting home We got some nice ones right under a cherry tree You and me lying the only way we know Side by side and still and cold And I finally ask you what was the matter Was this a matter of worse or of better You stretch your arms out and finally face me And said I would have told you if you'd only asked me You'd only asked me You'd only asked me