A Better Version

My life started when I went for a jog and spotted you in the park Sitting with a dog So I stopped and asked, "Can I pet your dog?" And so there we were, me and this golden retriever, basking in the abundance of sun Austin provides And suddenly, you blurted out "This isn't my dog, actually It's my friend's dog, Sheila I'm taking care of her while he's away She's on a lot of medication" And I laughed, and you laughed Saying you didn't wanna be found out when you asked me to coffee And there was no dog I said yes, and you said, "I'm Jase, what's your name?" And I heard the perfect opportunity To be someone else entirely Free from my history For one single cup of coffee, I would be Natalie Obviously, that's not how it went down One cup of coffee turned into two bottles of wine, three desserts, and staying up talking until four in the morning Too late to backpedal Too good not to keep going It felt like my life, but a better version With you in my life, I was a better person I heard music in the words you were saying, melodies with no band playing For the first time, I was in love And I loved Who I was with you All the mundane shit I used to hate Like recycling plastic and flossing every day Making breakfast, paying bills Watering the plants on our window sill Was invigorated with your sense of wonder Pillow talk, afternoon walks Holding hands in the parking lot of Home Depot Dealing with inevitable misfortunes that were barely manageable Like that time we accidentally hit a squirrel with your car That was an unfortunate anecdote Do you know what I mean? It felt like my life, but a better version With you in my life, I was a better person I heard music in the words you were saying, melodies with no band playing For the first time, I was in love And I loved Who I was with you My parents finally tracked me down after years of jumping from town to town They found You and me Men in suits at our front door Asking you about Judith Ford And I knew instantly They say before you die Your whole life flashes before your very eyes Well, it didn't the first time But this time, I heard each and every lie I'd ever told you I tried to cling to The life I'd made together with you So I did the only thing I knew how to I denied who I was, because I wanted to keep my life But the better version Natalie, your wife She was a better person I memorized your voice And how you say goodbye But you never said goodbye You never said goodbye, and I held on to our life And who I was with you Who I was with you Who I was with you