He Vas My Boyfriend

Love comes when you least suspect it, Love dances in on a whim, I thought maybe I could direct it, But I never expected... A guuy like him. He was a bully und a brute, He vas as crazy as a coot, Still I didn't give a hoot, He vas my boyfriend! With ev'ry voman he vould flirt, He alvays treated me like dirt, But I vas happy to be hurt, He vas my boyfriend! I vas as pure as a virgin meadow, Lying with Vicotr in the gloam. Then he turned to me, that charmer, whispered, "Let's Play farmer." And plowed me 'til the cows came home! He vas a monster and a beast, His midnight bangings never ceased, It didn't faze me in the least, He vas my boyfriend! I'll never forget the first time I met Victor. It vas On the village green, At the annual bock beer festival, where every beer cost A bock. I vas an innocent young lamb and he was a dirty old Goat. Ve vere made for each other. All of a sudden, he took out his paraphernalia and Shouted, "Let's play croquet!", and off to the field ve vent. He carried his hoops and mallets and I carried his Balls. What a festival! Fun and games all day long. Archery, Badminton, potato sack. Victor won the three-legged race... all by himself. It Vas love at first sight. He vas the one I gave my heart to, But ve never wed even so, If I mentioned wedlock, He'd put me in a headlock! Vhen I asked to be his wife, He stabbed me with a kitchen knife, Ach, where did the good times go? If he had an angry fit, I vas the first thing that he'd hit, But I didn't give a shit... He vas my boyfriend!