Here i go, thinking about what happens when my heart gives out; eyes dilate. before that, you will find me mapping out how i’ll play out my entire fate. i wish to die at my own hands, so follow my commands. ashes to ashes, i’m scattered along god knows where. if god knows anything, he’d save us all, but it’s in the air. the validity of any deity can’t be confirmed, but if it consoles you, i’ll leave that stone unturned. judgement’s clouded; a pariah i could pass surrounded, but we’ll all die alone. i’ve never felt this trinity. maybe i’m damned; infinitely doomed. i’ve been looking for signs, even in dreams. i’m not angry, it’s not what it seems. i wish to have this faith, your spawn, something to fall back on. some peace, at last, for all my friends who passed. you know i think that when i die, it won’t be far from closing eyes. people say that you are how they stay strong. nothing waits for them. i hope to god i’m wrong