Waves of Contempt

"I've listened carefully to your Cain and Abel lecture But waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming There is a part of me that revels in riding these waves, But can I harness them for a good?" God you guys, you ask the hardest questions! Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming There's a part of me that revels in riding these waves, But can I harness them for good? Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming It's probably time for a little bit of individual psychoanalysis You're generalising, you know, You say waves of contempt for existence itself Keep coming but I don't believe that that's exactly right I'm certainly not accusing you of being deceitful, It's more like low resolution My suspicions are, Is that there is a set of experiences that you've had That are characteristic to your own personal life That have caused you some bitterness and some resentment And that those haven't been thought through Usually thinking through means trying to take as much responsibility For altering the conditions under which those things happened Going forward into the future as possible Like the purpose of memory is to stop you from doing The same stupid things in the future, right? If you've had experiences that have made you bitter and resentful Or are still engaged in experiences that are doing that Then you need to do a careful micro-analysis of What those are and see if you can See if you can flip your attitude in some manner I'm not saying this is easy, but the first thing you could do Is at least figure out what those memories are You can kind of tell if something needs work from a memory perspective If it occurred more than about 18 months ago and when you remember It still causes like a wave of sadness or anger Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming There's a part of me that revels in riding these waves But can I harness them for good? Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming What that means is that your brain is still targeting That experience as threatening and unexplored And what that means is that, in some sense, Part of you that could exist is still stuck in that memory Because you can go back and do a careful causal analysis of the events That led up to the unfortunate circumstance And try to map out your role, even if your role is minor There is going to be things that you could've done Differently to avoid it And that's what you need to figure out for the future I would say you try to shed all your personal resentment A part of that too is to not take things too personally There's nothing personal about the fact That terrible things happen to you I mean unless you're directly causally involved As it says, I believe in the Old Testament, Rains on the just and the unjust alike The tragedy and difficulty and even the confrontation with evil Are built into the structure of existence And it's not aimed at you personally It may be the price that we pay for existence itself You could say well that price is too high to pay But if you start thinking that way Then you make everything much much worse Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming There's a part of me that revels in riding these waves, But can I harness them for good? Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming It seems better to shoulder your cross voluntarily And stumble forward towards the light, that's the best strategy And just because it's the best strategy doesn't even necessarily mean It's always going to work, like this is no optimistic scenario Like, a dragon is no optimistic scenario Confront the dragon, Get the gold and bring it back to share with the community And you know that sounds all well And good but after all it is a dragon And many people get eaten by them The myth basically says, well, your best bet is to open your eyes And speak the truth and look forward forthrightly And confront the hydras that are raising their heads And their tentacles constantly To frighten you and stop you, And to fight the tyranny of the social structure When it's oppressing you unduly And that's what you have to do but I would say if that contempt is there man That's really worth digging into That would be the place where you discover the Jungian shadow Because you discover that contempt is An unbelievably destructive force It would be useful for you to try to think about, You can use fantasy to do this It's like ok if you let that contempt Manifest itself fully in like a dream Or a daydream and then you let it go on a rampage, What's the vision exactly? I mean is it the destruction of the town? Is it the destruction of the country? Do you want the entire world to blow up? Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming There's a part of me that revels in riding these waves, But can I harness them for good? Waves of contempt for existence itself keep coming Are there specific people that you're angry at? Or maybe you're angry at yourself? Those waves of contempt are unarticulated elements of experience And they're part of your shadow So, can you harness them for good? Well, the more you understand your dark urges the more likely You are to be able to regulate and control them And to use them as part of your power A person who has authority is someone Who's integrated the dangerous parts of themselves And that's part of what gives their words gravitas and weight And so, yes, I think that you can harness them for good And I think that's the right thing to do, But it will involve a fair bit of painful soul searching