Letters Never Sent

Now hold up hold up hold up Why does it always feel like no one no one no one No one know what I gotta say? No one know what I gotta say? Now hold up hold up hold up Why does it always feel like no one no one no one No one know what I gotta say? No one know what I gotta say? Sometimes, I read these letters that I write to escape my mind But they never see the light of day, no no no sunshine Just cloudy skies up in my mind and you wonder why? You wouldn't understand even if you tried I wrote a letter and I've been meanin' to say this But I held on to it forever it felt like its been for ages I guess what im sayin' is I feel im in another place And ready to forgive, I've grown, past every situation Nothin' that could ever be said or could change What already was done or dead, or maybe taken place But nothin' ever could take the place of a parent I aint, airin' this out for yall to be embarrassed I'm just ventin' over instrumentals I don't wanna have this, stuck inside of me anymore I'm tryin' to stop this pattern break the cycle of an adult Wit' some trauma from his dad and his momma God I been cryin' out for help, and only time gonna tell If im gonna get any better, im just tryin' to prevail, against my demons I've been dreamin' of a day I feel at peace But I still have these memories and I might add trust me They weren't always bad, I wasn't always sad But somethin' about certain moments, I cannot make it past And where I dont care to share all the that wit' the public just outta respect I'm still a mess I been envious of my friends and their parents And the relationship they sharin' That had an effect on the way that I felt bad for myself it was hell I admit Some of it was probably self inflicted So maybe I should apologize, I just wanna fix it My whole life I've been traumatized and had nobody to listen Sometimes, I read these letters that I write to escape my mind But they never see the light of day, no no no sunshine Just cloudy skies up in my mind and you wonder why? You wouldn't understand even if you tried Two choices, brush all this off? Or im gettin' this off So I made the decision i've been selfless protectin' everybody else And i'm ready to flip and Its time to get a grip on my life as I sit I reflect I will no longer repress, I face everything in my head Don't take this as a diss Take it as me wantin' to mend all the unspoken awkwardness That has haunted us so it just, no longer exists And before I disappear into the abyss I love you both, and thats the realest shit I ever said Thank you for everything you ever did Ya'll were amazing parents when weighin' the inexperience And the fact that y'all weren't married And y'all were really basically a couple of young teenagers see? Who made an amazing seed Now look at your boy, you raised a king That's royalty, everybody could hold a grudge That's annoying to me We gotta appreciate people while they're alive And i'm sayin it just incase y'all really ever been deprived to hear it from me first Cause yea I know that y'all tried, I just finally realize I'm focused was at my lowest not that I never noticed I just had to take all this time to heal I hope you know this I read this quote and it said to take everything That's negative in what I feel and then let it spill even when its overkill It may be too late to say it when its over im killed Maybe you'll get this and read it after im dead, so I wrote it like will Listen to what I just said, yea I wrote it like will So I could give 'em my intellectual property, uh Not like monopoly, nah, this you cant rob from me, uh But you could take it and spread it to everybody, yup That's the beauty of it, subconsiously Yours truly Nick, come vibe wit' me Uh, yea, yea Sometimes, I read these letters that I write to escape my mind But they never see the light of day, no no no sunshine Just cloudy skies up in my mind and you wonder why? You wouldn't understand even if you tried