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Ray Getards
album cover
Ray Getards adlı parça {albumName} albümünün bir parçası olarak Dano West Productions tarafından 1 Eylül 2026 tarihinde yayınlandıRay Getards - Single
1 Eylül 2026
FirmaDano West Productions
DilEnglish
BPM146
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Valence
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Enerji

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# Ray Getards
Good morning everybody
Before we begin please state your name
Your pronouns
Your political affiliation
Your preferred bathroom
Your emotional support animal
And whether you're currently offended
Ray
Can I just have a fuckin' coffee
No
Ray woke up Tuesday turned on the news
Apparently everybody's gotta pick a side and choose
He said good morning sir somebody yelled that's wrong
Now Human Resources has him watching videos all day long
He tried to read the handbook three hundred pages deep
Fell asleep at inclusive language woke up next damn week
Every word's a landmine every joke's a crime
Ray's Googling what the fuck am I allowed to say this time
Left says right
Right says left
Everybody's pissed to death
Ray don't know who's mad or why
He just wants his coffee and his Wi-Fi
Ray Getards Ray Getards
Nobody knows the fuckin' rules
Facebook scholars TikTok doctors
Everybody graduated school
Ray Getards Ray Getards
Another outrage deal the cards
Pick a label grab a flag
And come march along with Ray Getards
Ray heard schools got litter boxes
Kids are cats he cried
His daughter said Dad that's bullshit
Ray said Facebook wouldn't lie
He shared it with a minion meme
Four eagles and a flag
Then somebody posted Snopes beneath it
And Ray quietly deleted that
Now Ray identifies as gullible
His pronouns shared and post
He gets his medical information
From whichever meme gets shared the most
Experts talk
Politicians scream
Nobody reads past the headline screen
Truth showed up three days too late
Ray already shared it forty-eight
Ray Getards Ray Getards
Nobody knows the fuckin' rules
Facebook scholars TikTok doctors
Everybody graduated school
Ray Getards Ray Getards
Another outrage deal the cards
Pick a label grab a flag
And come march along with Ray Getards
Now women's sports are on the news
And everybody's throwing chairs
Former basketball stars announce
Hey ladies save me a spot in there
One side screams protect the game
One screams everybody plays
The commissioner calls a meeting
That'll probably last for days
Ray says can somebody explain this
Without calling someone Hitler first
The room went completely silent
Then somehow things got worse
Ray you're transphobic
What'd I say
Nothing yet
Then how the fuck am I transphobic
Your tone
Jesus Christ
Now everybody's got a podcast
Everybody's got a cure
Three TikToks and a ring light
Makes your medical degree secure
Depression hormones therapy
Everyone knows what's best
Doctor Facebook diagnosed Ray
With twelve disorders and gluten stress
Some folks transition and thrive
Some people's stories aren't the same
Some regret decisions later
Real lives ain't a political game
But nuance doesn't get you clicks
So everybody choose your team
Because thoughtful conversation
Doesn't fit inside a meme
Maybe we're all fucking crazy
Maybe that's the common ground
Maybe screaming at each other
Ain't the smartest way around
Gay straight trans conservative
Left wing right wing weird
Everybody wants some dignity
And everybody wants to be heard
So laugh at Ray
Laugh at me
Laugh at this insanity
Because if we lose our sense of humor
We're all fucked equally
Wait
Did I just say equally
Is that still allowed
Ray Getards Ray Getards
Nobody knows the fuckin' rules
Politicians corporations
Keyboard warriors online fools
Ray Getards Ray Getards
Everybody clutch your cards
Nobody's safe from satire
Come march along with Ray Getards
Left and right
Black and white
Everybody wants to fight
Wave your banners
Raise your signs
Change the terminology forty times
Ray Getards Ray Getards
We're offended in our own backyards
If you can't laugh at yourself
Don't fuckin' march with Ray Getards
Thank you
Complaints may be submitted to Human Resources
Monday through Friday
Nine to five
Current wait time
Sixteen fucking years
Have a wonderfully inclusive day
Written by: Daniel C Willox
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