Beautiful

September 1st, 1989

Dear diary

I believe I'm a good person

You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—

Here we are, first day of senior year

And, uh, I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself, what happened?

Freak, slut, burnout, bug-eyes, poser, lard-ass

We were so tiny, happy and shiny

Playing tag and getting chased

Freak, slut, loser, shortbus

Singing and clapping, laughing and napping

Baking cookies, eating paste

Bull-dyke, stuck-up, hunchback

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger

Like the Huns invading Rome

Huh

Ugh, oh, sorry

Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school

This is the Thunderdome

Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon

White trash

College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June

But I know, I know life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then, we could change again

We can be beautiful

Ow

Just not today

Hey, are you okay?

Get away, nerd

Oh, okay

Freak, slut, cripple, homo, homo, homo

Things will get better soon as my letter

Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown

Wake from this coma, take my diploma

Then I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés

Watch it

Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze

Oops

Ram Sweeney

Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick

What did you say to me, skank?

Ah, nothing

But I know, I know (I know, I know)

Life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray (I pray, I pray)

For a better way

We were kind before (Ooh)

We can be kind once more (Ooh)

We can be beautiful (Ooh, beautiful)

Agh, hey, Martha

Hey

Martha Dunnstock, my best friend since diapers

We on for movie night?

Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail

I rented The Princess Bride

Ho-ho-ho, again?

Wait, don't you have it memorized by now?

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending

Martha Dumptruck

Wide load, honk

Haha

Kurt Kelly, quarterback

He is the smartest guy on the football team

Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf

Haha, aright

Hey, pick that up, right now

I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?

Yes, I am

I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend

You're a high school has-been waiting to happen

A future gas station attendant

You have a zit right there

Dear diary

Why?

Why do they hate me?

Why don't I fight back?

Why do I act like such a creep?

Why?

Why won't he date me?

Why did I hit him?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

Why?

Somebody hug me

Somebody fix me

Somebody save me

Send me a sign, God

Give me some hope here

Something to live for

Ah-ah, Heather, Heather and Heather

And then there's the Heathers, they float above it all

I love Heather, Heather and Heather

I hate Heather, Heather and Heather

Heather McNamara, head cheerleader

Her dad is loaded, he sells engagement rings

I want Heather, Heather and Heather

Heather Duke, runs the yearbook

No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants

I need Heather, Heather—

And Heather Chandler, the Almighty

She is a mythic bitch

They're solid Teflon, never bothered, never harassed

I would give anything to be like that

I'd like to be their boyfriend

That would be beautiful

If I sat at their table, guys would notice me

So beautiful

I'd like them to be nicer

That would be beautiful

I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats

Grow up, Heather, bulimia's so '87

Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather

Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should

Ah, Heather and Heather

And Heather

Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting

You're late for class

Heather wasn't feeling well, we're helping her

Not without a hall pass, you're not

Week's detention

Um, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass

Yearbook committee

I see you're all listed

Hurry up and get where you're going

This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?

Uh, Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon

What boon?

Um, let me sit at your table, at lunch

Just once, no talking necessary

If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone

Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes

How about prescriptions?

Shut up, Heather

Sorry, Heather

For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure

And a symmetrical face

If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves

That's very important

Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds

And you know, you know, you know?

This could be beautiful

Mascara, maybe some lip gloss

And we're on our way

Get this girl some blush

And Heather, I need your brush

Let's make her beautiful

Let's make her beautiful

Let's make her beautiful

Make her beautiful

Okay?

Okay

Out of my way, geek

I don't want trouble

You're gonna die at 3 pm

Don't you dare touch me

Get away, pervert

What did I ever do to them?

Who could survive this?

I can't escape this

I think I'm dying

Who's that with Heather?

Woah

Heather, Heather, Heather

And someone

Heather, Heather, Heather

And a babe

Heather, Heather, Heather

Veronica?

Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

And you know, you know, you know (Ohh-oh)

Life can be beautiful

You hope, you dream, you pray (Ohh-ah)

And you get your way (Beautiful)

Ask me how it feels

Lookin' like hell on wheels (Ooh-ah)

My God, it's beautiful (Beautiful)

I might be beautiful (Beautiful)

And when you're beautiful (Ahh)

It's a beautiful frickin' day

Heather, Heather, Heather, Veronica (Hey-yeah)

Heather, Heather, Heather

Veronica, Veronica, Veronica, Veronica, Veronica