Heavy Boobs (feat. Rachel Bloom)

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

Dense like dying stars

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

I can't run real far

Let me break down what I just said (aah aah)

Each of my double D's has the volume of a toddler's head

Not bitchin' bout my boobies

They look super fly in shirts (aah aah)

But if I swung them in your face

You'd be like "oh my god that hurts"

I'm blind, holy crap, I literally can't see

I have permanent retinal damage

I'm suing you and your heavy boobies

Heavy boobs, heavy boobs

Dense like dying stars

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

They each have their own memoirs

What you gotta know is that

Boobs may be where it's at (aah aah)

But if you cut them open they're just sacks of yellow fat

Stuff falls into my bra

It's a little bit of a drag (aah aah)

But when I got to bed at night

It's like opening a Mary Poppins bag

Whee, candy and pennies!

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

Dense like dying stars

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

Don't need an airbag in my car

Here is a list of all of the objects

That I can hold under my boobs

Stapler, 10 pencils

Paperback copy of "Arabian Nights"

Dog bowl, remote control

Hardback copy of "Wuthering Heights"

See, when a star is dying, it transforms into a red giant

And if the red giant does not have enough mass to fuse carbon

An inert mass of carbon and oxygen builds up in the center

Transforming into a dense white dwarf

And yeah, like, that's my boobs

That's what my boobs are like

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

Dense like a white dwarf

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

They'd be a catch at Fisherman's Wharf

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs

Don't ever forget

That these heavy boobs, heavy boobs

Are just sacks of yellow fat

Like the stuffing of a couch

They're just sacks of yellow fat

Technically meant to feed a baby

They're just sacks of yellow fat