Big Day in a Small Town

Mama gotta call from the principal's office

"Better get down here fast

'Cause Mindy passed out when her water broke

In the middle of geometry class"

Her mama didn't know she was nine months late

Been gettin' on her 'bout gainin' weight

And now she's a grandmama

Somebody had a baby

Somebody had a breakdown

Ah, it's a big day

In a small town

Willie Smith swore he wouldn't miss one more

Of Junior's football games

Got his twelve-pack of Bud and his Friday night buzz

Headin' south in the northbound lane

Junior's in the end zone, halfback pitch

Willie's sittin' upside down in a ditch

And the crowd goes wild

Somebody wrecked a pick-up

Somebody scored a touchdown

Ah, it's a big day

In a small town

There ain't no mall, no waffle house

But there's always something to talk about

Around here

Somebody shot a deer, somebody's gettin' married

Or buried, or carried away

If the sun comes up, and the sun goes down

Ah, it's a big day

In a small town

Rumor goin' around 'bout a Methodist man

And a jailbait checkout queen

His wife caught wind of unspeakable sin

Goin' down on aisle thirteen

She left all the chicken in the fryin' pan

Threw all the kids in the Grand Caravan

With a baseball bat

Somebody went to Walmart

In nothing but a nightgown

Ah, it's a big day

In a small town

There ain't no mall (No mall)

No waffle house (No waffle house)

But there's always something to talk about

Around here

Somebody shot a deer, somebody's gettin' married

Or buried, or carried away

If the sun comes up, and the sun goes down

Ah, it's a big day, hey

In a small town