Fear and Trembling

There's a moosehead hanging from a wall at a bar

At a nondescript part of the street

There's a long-haired boy making eyes at a John

By the lamplights hung from the beams

We're at this stumbling phase of the midnight waltz

At a bookend to the weirdest of weeks

Me and Arnold walk, pretty hammered and crying

Hey, I'll miss you man, when you leave

Yeah, I'll miss you when you leave

'Cause there are feelings that are strong

And there are ones that are mixed

At the dawn of my young life's eclipse

I was a boy once, now; I'm a kind of adult

Catching up on the cool shit I missed

'Cause we were raised where the pastors

They danced in the aisles

With a moshpit up front, full of youths

So if faith is to lose the mind to win God

Then I guess I've got nothing to prove

I guess I've got nothing to prove

I was waiting on the future but the future only came

In the form of greying matter, in my only father's brain

I'm not afraid of acquiescing to the trials of his old age

But of missing all the humanness he'll show when I'm away

And the part of me unspoken and the part that's self assured

Are belligerents divergent in a psychic civil war

But I'm a crier and a fighter, not a faker and a fraud

So if losing my religion is the way to finding God

Then light it up, the shadows in my blood

Oh, a weary heart, they say it shatters it all

So light it up, it's bound to be much worse

When you get, get, get, get back to the summer

If you get, get, get, get back to the summer at all

There's an omen now of frailty hanging heavy from my face

A kind of existential loneliness that struts and frets a stage

And disappears unsatiated by the rhythms of the day

Still illuminating nothing but the love I turn away

And I still care about the present and the weight of circumstance

To the muckraking of cowards and a symphony of sass

While I have questions of mortality, the clear and present vast

They just yell the word pretentious, with no clarity or class

So light 'em up, their shadows in my blood

Oh, a weary heart, they say it shatters it all

So line 'em up, it's bound to be much worse

Oh, when you get, get, get, get back to the summer

If you get, get, get, get back to the summer

When you get, get back to the summer

If you get, get, get, get back to the summer at all

One time

I feel everything, yeah, I feel it all

And I feel it in my bones and in my fucking skull

I feel everything, yeah, I feel it all

And I never look back, oh, and I feel it in my heart attack

And I feel it all, I feel everything

And I know it's weird and I fought the fear and trembling

'Cause I feel it all, I feel everything

And I never look back, this fear, this fear is trembling

And I waited on forever but forever never came

Just a latent sense of loyalty to the things I love in vain

And now I'm terrified of loving 'cause I'm terrified of pain

And of missing out on human things by cowering away

So light 'em up, those shadows in my blood

Oh, a weary heart, they say it shatters it all

So light 'em up, it's bound to be much worse

Oh, when you get, get, get, get back to the summer

If you get, get, get, get back to the summer

When you get, get back to the summer

If you get, get, get, get back to the summer at all