Muffin Man

The muffin man is seated at the table

In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen

Reaching for an over-sized chrome spoon

He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants and

Brushing his scapular aside, proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt

He turns to us and speaks

Some people like cupcakes better, I for one care less for them

Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged icing

Anointment utensil, he puts forth a quarter-ounce green rosette

Let's try that again, he puts forth a quarter-ounce green rosette

Near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin of his own design

Later, he says

Some people, some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself I say

There is naught nor ought there be

Nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth

As that prince of foods, the muffin

Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a muffin

He hung around till you found that he didn't know nuthin'

Girl, you thought he was a man, but he only was a puffin

No cries is heard in the night as a result of him stuffin'

Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a muffin

No cries is heard in the night as a result of him stuffin'