Men

Hey, having trouble sleeping at night? Why

Not try... the wonderful world of folk music?

I wonder how many of you remember

The big folk music scare of the '60s?

Boy, that was close. That garbage almost caught on

You know, the other day I was sitting around and thinking, "I wonder

What the first music ever written in this great country of ours was?"

And I was certainly hoping it wasn't that fiddle and banjo crap

Lord knows we've come further than that

So rather than think, I decided to look it up

And I looked it up in the Encyclopedia Britannica

You know, the way I got into the Britannica is

Kind of an interesting digression in itself

I was on the road as a performer, and, well, we had

Stopped in a small town and entered a hotel room

A perfect hotel room, really, with a big double bed

Soft lights, but let's face it, something was missing

And that night, I have to confess, I got lucky

I was actually able to find what I thought was a really good book

It was called Girl To Grab

Imagine my surprise when I found out it

Was Volume 6 of the Encyclopedia Britannica

And imagine my delight when the book opened up its wonders to me

Golf carts, glow worms, Gisele MacKenzie

Incredible

So I looked up folk music and was very

Delighted to find out I was quite right

It wasn't that fiddle and banjo crap at all

In fact, the first music made in this

Country wasn't even made in this country

It was made a few miles offshore by Columbus and

His merry men as they were sailing to our new land

Imagine what that was like

No instruments, just singing a cappella

Just imagine what it was like

Uh, Captain Columbus?

Yes, Malarkey?

The men haven't eaten in days, sir

Yes, Malarkey

Captain, I don't think you fully understand

I said the men have not eaten in days now

I heard you, Malarkey, thank you

Captain, you've gone quite mad

I'm telling you for the last time, the men have not eaten in days

Well, force them!

You've plenty of men, haven't you?

Plenty, sir

Plenty of what, sir?

Men, sir

What?

Men

What?

Men

Men

Men

Men

Men, men, men, men

Men, men, men, men

Men, men, men, men

Men, men, men, men

It's great to be on a ship with men

And sail across the sea, oh

We don't know where we'll land or when

But it's great to be with men

(It's great to be with men)

'Cause men can sweat and men can stink

And no one seems to care, oh

We'll throw the dishes in the sink

And clog the drain with hair, oh

(Clog the drain with hair, oh)

Men, men, men

It's a ship all filled with men

So batten down the ladies room

There's no one here but men

There's men above, there's men below

There's men down in the galley

There's Butch

And Spike

And Buzz

And Biff

And one guy we call Sally

(And one guy we call Sally)

Men, men, men

It's a ship all filled with men

You'll never have to lift a seat

There's no one here but men

We're men and friends until the end

And none of us are sissies

At night, we sleep in separate beds

And blow each other kissies

(And blow each other kissies)

Men, men, men

It's a ship all filled with men

So throw your rubbers overboard

There's no one here but men