Don't Marry Me

You are young and beautiful Sweet as the breath of May Earnestly I speak to you Weigh every word I say If you want to have a rosy future And be happy as a honeybee With a husband who will always love you Baby, don't marry me If you want a man you can depend on I can absolutely guarantee I will never fail to disappoint you Baby, don't marry me I eat lychee nuts and cookies in bed And I fill the bed with nutshells and crumbs I have irritating habits you'll dread Like the way I have of cracking my thumbs My grandpa was a big game hunter He met Grandma swinging on a tree If you want to have attractive children Baby, don't marry me I would like to see my sons and daughters Sliding up and down their father's knee (I don't know) They'll get splinters in their little fannies (Ouch) Cookie, don't marry me I'm devoted to my dear old mama (He is) And if you and Mama disagree (Watch out) He would always side with her against you Schnookie, don't marry me (Schnookie?) I would always like to know where you go I don't like a man to keep me in doubt Honey, that's a thing that's easy to know You will always know where I am: I'm out! I am talking like a Chinese uncle I am serious as I can be I am saying this because I love you Darling, don't marry me Marry a dope Innocent and gaga Marry a Khan Ali or the Aga Marry for money Or marry for free But don't marry Don't marry Do not marry me