Seen so much shit I’m still paranoid

I get nightmares every night some things I can’t avoid

Really miss the kid inside in the Polaroid

But that part of me is dead, I’m sorry to disappoint

Did a lot of dirt would never brag about it

I got family in the dirt that never got up out it

The streets don’t love you, they don't care about your fuckin' family

Heroin will take your life away, no way around it

Fuck it, I'ma keep it real

I wish I woulda listened when you came to me for help

But instead I cut you off and never asked you how felt

And I left you to your demons just so I could save myself

I know I couldn’t make a difference

But I’m still feeling guilty

When I’m reminiscent

It’s not my problem but who’s problem doesn’t make it different

You had a problem and my problem was I played the victim

You needed help and I didn’t give it

We got high for the first time

Remember snorting lines in the whip by the stop sign

You told me that you fine that even though that you not fine

And so I had your back like the way that you had my mine it’s all love

You had a problem, it’s mine too

If someone started beef every time I would slide too

I used to show you songs in the ride we would vibe too

You told me I would make it way before even I knew

I really miss those days, fuck I don’t know what to say

I’m hearing rumors every day

Can’t even look you in the face

Man I really hope it change

We all going through some things

But I went the other way, sometimes I really wish I stayed

I don’t know if I’m to blame

If I really coulda changed

Anything that you were going through or helped you with your pain

But it’s still inside my brain

I still act like I’m not phased

Every time I hear your name it takes right back to those days

Man, I really wanna say

That I love you and I’m sorry I heard that you were shooting up but didn’t try to stop it

I heard that about the accident and trouble that you got in

But I was being selfish dealing with my own problems

To this day I’m haunted

I don’t know why I can’t

Tell you how I feel or how or how I think that

If something happened to you I would hate that

Every night I pray that

You find a way out and find a way to get your fuckin' life back

I’m still caught in the past

I’m caught up in that the fact that I’ll never get my brother back

Just know that I still love you and I mean that

And I’m really sorry that you never got to see that

You were my brother when I had none

Whenever I needed a shoulder, you would have one

Used to cry and vent

You were my best friend

But the drugs changed you, now you’re not him

I can’t even recognize you anymore

You stole from me and told me that you never did before

I told you you were dead to me and then I just ignored

Everything you did, and now I hate myself for it

I gave up on you like everybody else

And I never payed attention to any cry out for help

Right before you overdosed you called me and it felt

Like there was nothing I could do and I didn’t know how to help

You went home I got a call that you stopped responding

Then they asked me if I knew what the fuck that you were on, and

I didn’t know the answer, you never told me

I never knew the demons and the secrets you were lonely

Sometimes I hate how it go

I been on this road

I'm feeling alone and nobody knows

And I can’t even go anymore

So many loved ones gone

They all moved on

I act like I still stand strong

I'm broken, hopeless

Nobody even noticed

They got their own problems, they too focused

Sometimes this shit a joke, and

It’s ridiculous the way that I been living how

The weight up on my shoulders got me tipping and I'm giving in

Sometimes I really feel like giving in

Trust me it gets sickening

I can’t trust a soul and I’m not different than

Any of these people I'm not innocent

I just wish that I could forget

And I could take back all the shit I said