A Strange Loop

I am the story's writer

I'm barely scraping by

I wake up every morning

I tell myself to try

I say "no compromises"

I claim to have a plan

When I am nothing more than

An angsty gay black man

Who looks into the mirror

Despite the grief it brings

Who hears these sloppy S's

Betray him as he sings

Sometimes I feel so ugly

Sometimes I feel so smart

Some people stand together

Me, well I stand apart

Should I give up on hoping

My point of view will shift

And let this agony

Just be my greatest gift

But if that is the secret

Does that make any sense?

How can I change forever

If I stay on the fence?

With doubts I let define me

And lust I can't express

In pain I keep avoiding

And rage that I repress

I should stop overthinking

And do the thing that's tough

Unleash my hungry lion

Cause Dorothy's had enough

Of toxic Tyler Perry

And white gay male tyranny

And my secret inner white girl

Though she is dear to me

But would that be sufficient?

Or would that be a sham?

Cause even with those actions

I'm stuck with who I am

Someone whose self perception

Is based upon a lie

Someone whose only problem

Is with the pronoun "I"

Maybe I don't need changing

Maybe I should regroup

Cause change is just an illusion

Just an illusion

Just an illusion

And "I" is just an illusion

Just an illusion

Just an illusion

If thoughts are just an illusion

Just an illusion

Just an illusion

Then what a strange...

Strange

Strange

Strange loop