The Feels (feat. Portugal. The Man)

I feel like I can't be by myself alone I've seen deterioration of a happy home I've seen materialization from niggas that can't afford it Real niggas in costume jewelry, Old English and Chinese Jordan's I've seen the visualizations but I hoped it wrong I've been there sitting complacent like an Uncle Tom I've welcomed my momma's fakest friends with open arms I know I strained some relations when I wrote this song Fuck it, it feels like I've lost it all (all, all, all, all) Ignored your calls, flew so high I was forced to fall I feel like I, I feel like my family tried to be family Offered a shoulder then once it was over It's like they don't know me That could lead to pure insanity hate for humanity I could've called them but sheeeit My momma died I'm traumatized I'm not alright I need serenity slip me some remedy Some realignment for my inner me positive energy To reassign some higher entity All these Natures Blessings scented memories How can you love me you don't remember me Turned your phone off ignored my calls Got so high I feel like I, you felt like I'm selfish an bitter I never [phone ring sound] without an agenda I only care about myself and my niggas I never brought you back as much as a picture Unless I want recognition I never asked you what you wanted for dinner I don't love you 'less I'm broke or I'm injured You can't hide your intentions There ain't nothing like a mom's intuition I wonder if there was a sign and I missed it If I went harder to listen, but I have some suspicion But instead I'm caught off guard, I'm calling God for assistance Need divine intervention, yes I know I'm not the ideal Christian I'm your son here's my ID, my picture, I need you to prevent this I'll repent, I'll hit my knees and surrender How could I ever be so blind and so distant? Towards the end it was different Ain't step foot in the kitchen, is it part of her mission? Is it part of... Find myself recently dreaming 'bout being a kid again Broken and bleeding, cut open, I'm peeling my skin again Devil been creeping, increasingly thinking 'bout ending it All my immediate family really attempted it I had to be there, you need me, no people, no witnesses Maybe the traits in my genus you see the resemblance So many pills in the sink I think even the fish are dead How can you blame me? You made me the reason I wish I'm dead I'm just a product, my momma, my papa, my siblings Raised off a dial up and monthly trials of the internet Saw as a toddler, a flaw that retired my innocence Papa retired and momma was tired as Michelin Bring me the belt for the beating, my knees was trembling Mama was swinging like Venus, Serena at Wimbledon Little kids tweaking of sweetened farina with cinnamon Now that I'm eating it sweetened farina with cinnamon Do you believe in Jesus or need the sentiment God'll receive us but preacher is really a sinning man Nah, I don't need it, I'm pleading, I'm heathen, I'll sin again "Tryna be equal" and "probably evil" are synonyms Nobody seen the relationships needed rekindling Now that I see you... Pour the acid in Pour the acid in Pour the acid in It's getting cold I don't know will I rise again Dig a hole in my soul pour the acid in It's getting cold I don't know will I rise again Dig a hole in my soul pour the acid in It's getting cold I don't know will I rise again Dig a hole in my soul pour the acid in