P.T.S.D. (feat. Ritual of Ether)

Yo, I keep waking up in these cold sweats

Look around I see no threats

But the memories I can’t forget

So I check my phone and smoke cigarettes til I calm down

Close my eyes and take slow breaths

Hide it all from my small town with my biggest smile when I’m so distressed

(Post traumatic stress)

Let me go, release the grip that you hold

I just want to feel at peace in my home

Hard to advocate mental health whenever I still battle my inner self

Flash back to my darkest hour

Harping on it all morning hours

Finally got this shit off of my mind

And I’m good til it snaps back shortly after

I can feel the world stop turning

Want to call in but I can’t stop working

Truth is I’m a popular person

If I turn my phone off then they’ll start to worry

One thing that I really know’s for certain fam

I need help and I’m tired of hurting

I’ll keep fighting I know it’s worth it

Promise, I would never die on purpose

‘Cause I’m not suicidal

Some days I don’t want to be alive though

My kinfolk telling me to read the Bible and my fake friends telling me

“You’ll be alright, bro”

Getting drunk before every show

And I’m fucking up my words like a typo, I might go

Back to sleep with my lights, or go write songs with my knife drawn

P, I’m paranoid it’s probably all in my head

T, The therapist will tell you take all your meds

S, Still shaking from the pain and stress

D, Deep cuts we dealing with til we’re dead, we bled

There’s blood on the walls

I’m insecure

Don’t leave without me, I swear

I’m insecure

Got the door locked with a pad-lock and the chain hooked with a clamp on

Got the shades pulled if you knock knock then I peek out with a handgun

I’ve been looking over my shoulder since grade school then life happened

Had to stare death in the face too then life flashes

This is not a joke I'm too shook to shed a tear

Feel a shockwave then you look the end is near

Medication is a must got blunts and plenty beer

Sedation is a crutch been stuck for many years

You don't know what I been through you died I tried to go with you

Why you think I got issues

I'm too broke to come fix you

Them walls closing in only my closest know my sins

Never sober hold a 5th and fall over like bowling pins

The worlds colder than polar winds from exposure you're slow and sick

And them doses get so intense let me show you what hopeless is

I see ghosts and I know I'm next at my shows I'm a fucking wreck

You don't know me we won't connect

Pay the toll or they come collect

Yeah

P, I’m paranoid it’s probably all in my head

T, The therapist will tell you take all your meds

S, Still shaking from the pain and stress

D, Deep cuts we dealing with til we’re dead, we bled

There’s blood on the walls

I’m insecure

Don’t leave without me, I swear

I’m insecure

There’s blood on the walls

I’m insecure

Don’t leave without me, I swear

I’m insecure

There’s blood on the walls

Don’t leave without me, I swear

I’m insecure

P

T

S

D