Violet

There's a little woodland flower, a beautiful recluse Her petals range in hue from navy blue to puce So quiet and retiring, so delicate is she She'll wince if you should glimpse her bilateral symmetry There's a certain type of gentleman, I have met one or three Who think women more voiciferous than perhaps they ought to be Keep your opinions to the minimum; it's charming to be shy Well, for all us belles blessed with decibels, here comes my reply I think you're looking for a violet A little sweet shaking V-I-O-L-E-et Just like Shakespeare reclaimed Some shrews cannot be tamed They grow louder the older they get If you're looking for a violet A little sweet shaking V-I-O-L-E-et Don't waste your time with me I'm only going to let you down I went on a serious date once, a difficult affair He was a history lecturer with academic hair I tried to be coquettish; I tried to be demure I listened most intently to his improvements in military engineering From Crimea to the Second World War But when came my time to speak enthusiasm made me shrill I went in less than ten seconds from nought to pneumatic drill There were tears in his ears; I saw horror on his face And I chuckled to myself as he fled swiftly from the place I think you're looking for a violet (V-I-O) A little sweet shaking V-I-O-L-E-et (Looking for a V-I-O) I'm like bugles at dawn, I am fog, I am horn Totally lacking in vocal etiquette Ifyou're looking for a violet (V-I-O) A little sweet shaking V-I-O-L-E-et (Looking for a V-I-O) Don't waste your time with me I'm only going to let you down I do not mutter, I don't murmur Never been a verbal squirmier I speak blunt, I speak plain At the velocity of a passing train Will I ever find a mate upon whose nerves I do not grate The only chance I'll be endearing Is if you are very very hard of hearing But if you're looking for a violet (V-I-O) A little sweet shaking V-I-O-L-E-et (Looking for a V-I-O) Don't waste your time with me I'm only going to let you down Don't waste your time with me I'm only going to let you down Sorry about that, fella