Why?

I'm feeling the hate I'm feeling the fake I hate all the times you stood there and straight lied to my face See these are the reasons I keep to myself 'Cause when I go out I feel like I don't even fit in the crowd Hidden by shades Afraid of the stage If the timing was perfect the league would be out there calling my name I hated the times I was good but not great But if this is my time believe me, yeah I've been shooting it straight I was ready to fold or maybe I'm not Maybe I scrap it or maybe it pops Or maybe I exercise freedoms within Or judgement is past 'cause Burton he sins Hated to question my worth to this world But hated or not these people will hurl Judgments and lies deceiving to test me I'll never go broke but is this the best me Addressing the game and the thoughts that possess me These snakes in the grass well they try to distress me You thought I would fold but I stand here okay Well I question myself and I hate that I do By the stains of today in some hated display Commit to myself or accept my decay Do I reach for the stars do I anchor on in Do I push all my limits or do I sell out to sin I question myself I question myself Yeah, I question myself Like why in the world do I question myself I feel like I hate all this asking for help Am I asking for help If I'm losing my mind am I losing my health Shit am I losing my health And where in the world is my depth inside self when the world is so big mines up trapped in a cell Thought I would write it I'm walking on clouds now I've been writing it and I'm walking in shells Went for a walk minds giving me hell in this fraction of light where your darkness will swell And I'm twisted in inside like I'm stuck in a jail but so many people deal with the anxiety I fell I feel all these words like I'm stuck in a spell Never escaping is all of it real My path was so clear when it came to a halt But I laugh in its face it's not all of my fault Is there pity in pride in the cards that I've dealt Just know I've got questions that all of you felt Conflicting concerns and my own treason of help But I blocked out emotion like dust on the shelf What about wealth? Is it all that we need? If your mind is just empty are you leaving it gone is it starving to breathe? 'Cause I deal with the hate 'Cause I deal with the fake Every damn time, shit man am I losing some faith And my worth to the world And my words are they deep Anxiety and panic really comes at me like some wolf upon sheep I've been stuck in my ways And afraid of the days Lost grip on reality or maybe I'm just up stuck in a phase They twist all my words and compare it to scripture, like if he's a Christian why paint all these pictures Life's in a blender the balance of mixtures, 20 years to the game but not all of them chipper Hate that I ever once questioned my faith But let me be real I just slipped on my pace 'Cause life is a journey I'm running this race I was next to embrace I've been saved by his grace Sometimes all these fears I just lock them away Why deal with tomorrow what you can do it today Why every damn time when I thought I was next Do I watch someone else they've been taking my reps And it's time to be conscious of all of these breaths Like live in the now but nevertheless Sometimes it's so hard and I ask myself why But I give it to God please take all of my why's I feeling the hate I feeling the fake I hate all the times you stood there and straight lied straight to my face See these are the reasons I keep to myself 'Cause when I go out I feel like I don't even fit in the crowd Hidden by shades Afraid of the stage If timing was perfect the league would be out there calling my name I hated the times I was good but not great But if this is my time believe me, yeah, I've been shooting it straight