You know I’m just afraid

I went and shaved my head

I stared in the mirror before I went to bed

I tumbled down the street at 3 am cursing every little song that i wrote back then

And i’ll try for the first time in a fucking year

After trying every day for a fucking year

I threw the pills into my mouth

And I promised they could know me without all the doubts

Like I promised i’d be better back in the spring

I also promised myself i’d be happy

And i promised myself i’d get what i deserve

But now the friends in my life aren’t friends I’ve heard

And now Disassociating in the dining hall to get away from your faces

The faces of disappointment

I’m done with my mistakes again

I wanna learn just how to love again

Im writing little tunes in lieu of accepting doubt

With a wired jaw

Shut tight with disdain

In the stare of your presence i have no name

I have no place

To have this face and

All the words i had i've been erasing

With thinning hair and rotting teeth

I see all the insults that you give to me and

I got the considerations, do you wanna talk?

And so i’ll die today(i deserve much more )

I don't want to die today (cuz I deserve much more than this)

But i’ll die someday

In a lull