Checking Up

Thick snow, I fall down in it slow

I retreat to its pillow

Snot gets smudged, swept on my cheek

No tissue, especially not you

You tell me that you're not checking up on me

But I am the one you think of when

You think about the things

You've done wrong before in your life

You call me when you're out on the road

You just met someone, reminds you of me

And I'll appear in your shadows

And you'll say

I need to think about the things

I want before I

Kiss your thick light goodbye

And all of our guilt

Is collectivized in ill-written iPhone notes

And I do not want you know

You are the one I think of when

I think about the things

That I've done wrong before

You are the one I think of when

I think about the things

That I've fucked up before

In my life