The Incident

Oi, oi, stop, come back, you

I was instrumental in creating the company

A founding father of the movement, some say

Had a hundred youngsters under my guidance at any one time

Willing to learn, eager to please

And salaried with the implicit threat of an instant dismissal

(Oi, I'm warning you)

All legal mind, hey

Meager scraps for tender prey

But everybody gotta learn some time and you learn that the hard way

In the bustling hive of activity known as my

As my holy global enterprise

We created rules that you can't find in the book

A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook

Hey, feed me, my mind is greedy, massage my ego

And read to me, slow stories from my youth

Just like the Beano, colonial overtones, I know, hey, but so what

I like the plot and the way the colors pop from the page

Don't have to justify my rage

Being a hypocrite does not devalue the merit of the accusations made

Everybody's got dirt on everybody else in this day and age, mind

(Come back you little bastard)

I look good, dead good, too good, good for my age

But if I'm not on the receiving end of never-ending compliments

My thinking implement is bound to be in a constant state of discontent

And I'm hellbent on expanding my heaven-sent empire, ethically

But not at my own expense, no

Peaking through the hole in the neighbor's fence

It all looks pretty good

Just don't look under the hood

The engine is completely caked in snake oil and old mud

I need something new to perk me up, because

If I'm not pumped up, I'm impotent, I'm dead wood

I'm dead wood

And we don't want to repeat the same thing happening again

I want to be relevant, I don't want to be a dud

We created rules that you can't find in the book

A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook

Ever since the incident, my complete incompetence

Has been exposed to everyone and rendered me irrelevant

We created rules that you can't find in the book

A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook

Ever since the incident, my complete incompetence

Has been exposed to everyone and rendered me irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

Ever since the incident

My complete incompetence

Has been exposed to everyone

And rendered me irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant

I'm irrelevant