Jordan wanted to sign
With Adidas for shoes
But Nike gave him an offer
That he could not refuse
It wasn't a pizza that poisoned him in Utah
With a hotel bill to prove
Three thousand dollars on just five dudes
I bought fake Jordans
They weren't even shoes
Oh, he looked so sick
It was all over the news
But it wasn't the pizza
And it wasn't the flu
Yeah, I love drinking too
I love drinking too
