The Belle Of Snodland Town

She was far from small, as I recall And a rather cumly lass All men would say, as she passed their way "What a love piece of aaaaaaaa..." Ask her where she came from, she'd say "My lips are sealed" But a good guess would be Bristol Or possibly Tenfield And in every pub in Snodland They still do speak her name She was a sport - or so I heard And did play many games The soul of men's discretion She did not mention names She loved to go horse racing And her phone was studied hard But didn't need a race track To go right through the guard And in every pub in Snodland They still do speak her name One day I did go off with her And played in the hay She promised me most anything Just to have me stay She whispered "Come here, darling. Come lover, please draw near. You're going where no man has been" I said "What? In your ear?!" And in every pub in Snodland They still do speak her name We knew not where she came from But since the day she went We all do sadly miss her In our little heart of Kent In every pub in Snodland They still do sing this song "Vagina was her name, Virgin for short" But we all knew - not for long! And in every pub in Snodland They still do speak her name And in every pub in Snodland They still do speak her name