Married in a Honky Tonk

I was takin' off my makeup 'bout to jump into bed After bingin' all day on 'Say Yes to the Dress' When that devil on my shoulder known as my best friend Texted "we're all at The Cowboy get your butt down here Jen" Against my better judgment I pulled myself together In the bat of a lash it was Hey Bartender Would you pour me a tequila soda and lime That's when I heard a voice say "put it on mine" Turned around and saw my knight in shinin' neon light And after five rounds I'd found the love of my life I blurted out "I like the sound of your last name" He winked and said his wing man just got ordained Cherry stem rings slurry I do's Somethin' cold somethin' brewed somethin' Pabst Ribbon Blue The band played "Here Comes the Bride" With a party crowd singin' along That's how I got married in a honky tonk Ooh I do I tipped that waitress who made my beer bucket bouquet And ole Biscuit the bouncer who gave me away No rice in sight but a lotta popcorn thrown Maid of honor was a goner so we Ubered her home The rest of it was just a blurry wedding bell bender But the first kiss was pretty good from what I can remember A toilet paper veil bar stool pews Hopin' in sickness and in health includes hangovers too We had our first dance to the band Playing a Hank Williams cheatin' song That's how I got married in a honky tonk Ooh I do Ooh I do Cherry stem rings slurry I do's Somethin' cold somethin' brewed somethin' Pabst Ribbon Blue A toilet paper veil bar stool pews Hopin' in sickness and in health includes hangovers too Cans tied to an F-150 limousine and we were honeymoongone That's how I got married in a honky tonk How I got married in a honky tonk Ooh I do Ooh I do