I can tell it's getting bad again

Because I was in the bath when I thought

"What if I fell asleep and choked on the water and then called it all an accident?"

And so I picked up my phone to give you a call

Like I promised I would if it was getting all too much

And I thought, "Why does it matter anyway?"

Because I'm secluding myself from my body and the world

I hate being me and I hate being a girl

Scrubbing my face to try to remove all my skin but my pores fill up with foam wash and repeat again

I lay my hands out flat

Leave them in partial light

Water them twice a week - one morning, one night

Flowers bloom into my face

Crawl their way up my throat

And I pray that God will call you

And let you know that He finally let me choke