Woke up with a headache, think I might just call out

Tell them that my tooth hurts, I think they might all fall out

I've got pain in my side, my tummy won't stop rumbling

If I die in my sleep, tell my kids that I love them

They say I'm dramatic, I call it premonition

My disease is so rare, it's limited edition

My wife thinks that I'm fine, she says I don't know true pain

She's been pregnant 9 months, but I've been sick for two days

Help me

I think that I'm dying

In the shower crying

For someone to save me

Oh, man cold

I think I need a coffin but for now I'm on the sofa

You can call me Nyquil daddy, I'm the king of ibuprofen

And the world just thinks I'm whining, but I'm on my way to heaven

They're laughing at my fever, which is 98.7

I'm a hero, I'm a saint

If I stand up I might faint

My wife thinks that I'm lame, but my health is not a game

She'll be sorry, she'll be sad, she'll be angry, she'll be mad

And she'll have to tell our kids that their mama killed their dad

Help me

I think that I'm dying

In the shower crying

For someone to save me

Oh, man cold

Man cold

Man cold

Man cold

Man cold

Man cold

It's not in my head

It's not in my head

It's not in my head

It's not in my head

It's not in my head

(Help me, I think that I'm dying)

It's not in my head

(In the shower crying)

It's not in my head

(For someone to save me)

It's not in my head

Oh, Man Cold

Man Cold

Man Cold

Man Cold