Dial-Up Deals

Hey, hey friend You've got quite the funny brand Let me lend you a costly hand I'm your friendly garbage salesman Hey, hey kid I've got sales you can't ignore Subscribe to get a little more When you step inside my deals store Here's some fun facts I used to be the biggest guy in town Number one All around Salesman Signed a contract One phone call later had the sales hot All it bought Jackpot A big shot But when your life has gone down the drain And you feel ashamed My hyperlink remains Blocked How, how can you be A big shot like me Just find me the key One time only deal And speaking of you It's your big début That heart looks brand new Let's put it to use Now let's blow your mind This contract was signed The print's pretty fine That heart will be mine Now you must agree To what I foresee It's my guarantee In heaven I'm free So turn up the dial-up Flip up the screen You shouldn't believe what you see on tv This funky little worm will be the death of me So make yourself a deal and don't forget your warranty Here's an easy game for your friends to play Why not come on back into the alleyway Interest in business so you've got to say You'd throw your whole life away You want it, you need it You have it, you've seen it Just sign here, don't read it It's just some boring terms of service Finally, we got this show on the road Hop inside my new cungadero Ride around, to the basement we'll go Kris you know, I couldn't do this alone Wow I'm feeling good Aren't you feeling great Heaven's here to watch you as your friends disintegrate Nothing's left to stop me as I take on this state Oh wait Kris you little ingrate How, how can you be A big shot like me You found me the key Kris we had a deal It's all overdue That sweet revenue You know what to do This call is for you I'll throw you a bone And all that I own I'll cut you a loan Just hang up the phone How could you say no It's all that you owe We're friends don't you know To heaven we'll go So turn up the dial-up Flip up the screen You shouldn't believe what you see on tv This funky little worm will be the death of me So make yourself a deal and don't forget your warranty Turn up the dial-up Flip up the screen We don't need the easels or the CRTs This funky little worm was the death of me So cut the final strings and I will finally be free