Yo Jam, this is a letter to you

It’s been a while, but it’s been hard for me to get in the booth

And since we last spoke, I’ve become a father of two

Trying to live life with a smile but that’s been harder to do

‘Cause all I wanna do is talk about you

But these tears won’t let me talk about you

We should’ve known that we’d be lost without you

Therapy sessions, digging deep in depression

I got a life full of blessings, but this just breaks my fucking heart

At your birthday, couldn’t even crack a smile

I just cried and left the party, Neesh, I’ll see you in a while

Headed to the mural, got some jerk wings and plantain

‘Cause that is the way that me and you would celebrate it

I never knew you touched the stuff, ‘cause you’d always bad me up

You saw me more than drunk, you always hated what it does

Before Lyra I just stopped, I haven’t even wanted one

I can’t get over, this is fucked, man I wished I’d known

And yo, we cried for nine nights in your family home

Laid you to rest in the ground but without a stone

You know it hits me most at moments, now when I’m alone

Every morning, I remember that you’re really gone

‘Cause it’s been a long night and I cry ‘cause I miss my brother

You know for life, got your sis and mother

And day and night, it still hits that you’re gone

And right now, I’m spilling tears in my cup

You left the world before you met Jupiter

Wish you’d have known, you would be godfather

You would’ve loved loving my little girls

If not for them, I’d be done with the world

Was there two hours after you passed

Speeding east to west, silent in the back of the car

Was at your mum’s, there all week, trying to make sense but I can’t

And although it’s been a year, still feel the pain in my heart

‘Cause you were there from the start

The day we met, yeah I moved in and we were never apart

People assumed that we were lovers but we’re brothers in arms

Symbiotic bond of love and gave each other a chance, my god

Ah

Fuck sake, lately I’ve been crying so much, my lungs ache

Teardrops all over my shirt like blood stains

And I know to heal a heart, it must break

But I’m done praying

They gave me a shovel at your burial and

Watching you get lowered is something I can’t forget at all

And people find and stop me in the street and say it’s terrible

But they don’t know you like I knew you and they never will

No one saw the nights turn into day when we were battle rapping

No one saw the belly laugh, and every train to somewhere random

No one saw the holidays, and then our first experience clubbing

No one knew the things you did for me and never asked for nothing

No one read the conversations of the moves that we were planning

No one knew about the way you felt the scene, left you abandoned

No one knew about your fears ‘cause you would hide them with a smile

No one knew when people took an inch, you would give 'em a mile

‘Cause that was always Jamal, SB to the crowd

They used to shout your net worth, but they don’t mention it now

They hear about your good deeds and infectious smile

A golden heart that’s still remembered is worth more than a crown

I promised sixty-four bars and now I keep it to Tanisha

Mummy, Isaac, the gang, but I just wish that you’d seen it

I can’t accept that you’re gone, or the grief that I’m feeling

I prayed to God for answers but he still won’t give me a reason

I think about you every day, nothing will take this pain away

I’ll keep your legacy amazing, mate

The conversations at your grave’s the only way to be close

I know you’ll greet me with a smile on the day that I go

‘Cause it’s been a long night and I cry ‘cause I miss my brother

And for life, got your sis and mother

You know I cry ‘cause I miss my brother

My brother was SBTV