Chronically Cautious

I gamble big for the smallest part, I know it's not Enough to change what's been going on, but it's all I've got I misjudge and switch up from target to target Miscalculate what it is that I wanted Swimming in circles in search of substance In shallow waters that give me nothing How can optimists be cynical? So if I'm honest, I think I'm beginnin' to question how much I want this Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious How can I get off this? To keep it simple, I think I've been willingly following every impulse Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles Passionate but fickle The source of my serotonin is only digital 'Cause my reality's fading, I guess that's typical Can't switch back, it's mismatched in dopamine Get whiplash, it hits fast, controlling me Swerving in silence, I'm all alone In traffic I'm trapped in, I can't find home I'm an optimist who's cynical (That's f-king miserable) So if I'm honest, I think I'm beginnin' to question how much I want this Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious How can I get off this? To keep it simple, I think I've been willingly following every impulse Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles Passionate but fickle