oh are you bipolar one or two?

The moment I turn twenty-three

I'll grab the gun my father gave to me

On my birthday, when I turned seventeen

I'll lay a note right next to me that says

Split the money that I have

Evenly between my mom and my dad

I'll speak so eloquently on what to do with each half

I'll tell Rebecca, "Buy a home down the road from Cypress Grove"

And I know, Mother, you don't want me to go

But I must go

And I'll tell Mark to buy a car

Please know, you're always in my heart

Even when my conscious self departs

You did your job

And to Chris, I hope you're smiling

'Cause you kept the boy from dying for almost a decade

Man, fuck what my friends say

One twitch of the finger, fuck around, and I'm dead weight

Don't believe what the press says, I did this for me

And no one else in the best way

To all of my friends, you know I wish you the best

And when you say my name, say that shit with your chest

And I think I should be clear

I don't want

I don't wanna be here

With people that, that I didn't know last year

At fucking all

You don't want to be here when I blow my top, off

Girl, I dont want to be here at all

At all, at all, at all, at all

I'll put the metal to skin and I'll go off on a whim and say

That I dont want to be here at fucking all

I wonder if tomorrow would've been better

In all honesty, it don’t even matter at all

‘Cause it bends, it breaks, it falls

And I'm here right now

So just hear me out, know I let you down

But I can't, no I can't, I can't

Change anything, this trajectory

It was meant for me, it was meant to be

Don't let my mom see me before they bury me

'Cause the man in that coffin, shit, he's barely me

Plenty people gone say they were there for me

They weren't there for me, they didn't care for me, so

I don't wanna be here

With people that, that I didn't know last year

At fucking all

You don't want to be here when I blow my top, off

Girl, I dont want to be here at all

At all, at all, at all, at all

I'll put the metal to skin and I'll go off on a whim and say

That I dont want to be here at fucking all