16

Your girlfriend wants to take me to yoga class

And you want me to stop cutting myself in the bathtub

The hospital wants to let my mother go home

I said "I won't give consent for that over the phone"

I smoke a big bowl in my car all alone

I get really high

And cry to a stupid song

I work at the mall where I sell nice perfume

I say "this one would be lovely for you"

You corner me daily in the kitchenette

You say "have you eaten enough today yet?"

And I always say yes and we know that I'm lying

I let you fall silent

We pretend that you're trying

"I don't know what to do with you"

You say it often

Almost sounds like a good excuse

For doing nothing

I call the police on my mom again

I bring her yoga pants

Without the drawstring in

I buy another plant for the corner of my room

I don't think it'll make it but I guess I'm speaking too soon

Inexplicably I keep waking up

I keep walking forward into the dusk

I'm absolving I'm forgiving I don't care who's deserving

I'll come later with a hammer and break open my burden