Yes Chef

Alone in the basement, I’m prepping the pastry

Stuffing apples and onions into pork in a daze

The little boom box playing Black Sabbath on an old cassette

Working for a thick-necked man by the name of Yes Chef

I’d rather be drinking in a hammock than scraping out the ramekins

The whole kitchen is stressed out and panicking

Taking orders from an adult human being wearing camouflage Crocs

Just wanna take off my beard net and let down all my dreadlocks

Yes, chef,

You heard me correct

When I say ‘yes chef’ what I really mean is

I haven’t finished the rest of the prep yet

No chef

I don’t believe in time theft

And my only regret

Is ever saying yes chef

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire

Is 21 and a half too young to retire?

No, I don’t want to cover for Jeremy in the dish pit

Now I’m squirting soap on the walls spelling out chef I quit

At the end of the rush, it’s smoke break, sitting on buckets

I can’t feel the burn on my arm when I touch it

Carol says it’s been cauterised, but it might be infected

She’s studying nursing at night, so I listen to her opinion and respect it