Dopamine Cleanse

I didn't text my friends

Cuz I thought it was time for a dopamine cleanse

And when I got on the plane to salt lake I

Sent my brother a cliff hanger instead

Of an I love you

Cuz if I crash mid flight

You can fill in the blanks of my life with

However you think I am since

I know you'll never understand why

I keep my walls up high

You know there's a hurricane brewing outside

The periphery of my vulnerability

And as April fades to may I'm going far away

And whoever you want me to be you can fashion out of clay

You know I sucked my fingers raw to get my heart to thaw

And I'll let you believe you know the unedited version of me

I do the dishes alone so I can share my trauma with what's dirty

I'm only worthy of these ears

And when I called Abby for a walk I

Spoke only in riddles of my pain

And I felt insane

But if I crash mid flight

You can fill in the blanks of my life with

However you think I am since

I know you'll never understand why

I keep my walls up high

You know there's a hurricane brewing outside

The periphery of my vulnerability

And as April fades to may I'm going far away

And whoever you want me to be you can fashion out of clay

You know I sucked my fingers raw to get my heart to thaw

And I'll let you believe you know the unedited version of me

I didn't text my friends

Cuz I thought it was time for a dopamine cleanse