The Saint Turned Sinner, or The Dissenting Parson's Text Under the Quaker's Petticoats
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You friends to reformation
Give ear to my relation,
For I shall now declare, Sir,
Before you are aware, Sir,
The matter very plain.
A Gospel Cushion thumper,
Who dearly loved a bumper,
And something else beside, Sir,
If he is not bely’d, Sir,
This was a holy Guide, Sir,
For the dissenting train.
And for to tell you truly,
His flesh was so unruly,
He could not for his life, Sir,
Pass by the Draper’s Wife, Sir,
The spirit was so faint.
This jolly handsome Quaker,
As he did overtake her.
She made his mouth to water,
And thought long to be at her.
Such, Sir, is no great matter,
Accounted by a Saint.
Says he, ‘My pretty Creature,
Your charming handsome feature
Has set me all on fire,
You know what I desire,
There is no harm in love.’
Quoth she, ‘If that’s your Notion,
To preach up such Devotion,
Such hopeful Guides as you, Sir,
Will half the World undo, Sir,
A halter is your due, Sir,
If you such tricks approve.’
The Parson still more eager,
Than lustful Turk of Neger,
Took up her lower Garment,
And saw there was no harm in’t.
According to the Text.
For Solomon more Wiser,
Than any dull Adviser,
Had many Hundred Misses
And why should such as this is
Make you so sadly vext.
The frightened female Quaker
Perceived what he would make her,
Was forced to call the Watch in,
And stop what he was hatching,
To spoil the light within.
They came to her Assistance,
As she did make Resistance,
Against the Priest and Devil,
The Actors of all Evil,
Who were so grand Uncivil,
To tempt a Saint to Sin.
The Parson then confounded,
To see himself surrounded
With mob and sturdy Watch-men,
Whose business ’tis to catch men,
In Lewdness with a Punk.
He made some faint Excuses,
And all to hide Abuses,
In taking up the Linen,
Against the Saint’s opinion,
Within her soft Dominion,
Alledging he was Drunk.
But tho’ he feigned reeling,
They made him pay for feeling,
And Lugg’d him to a Prison,
To bring him to his Reason,
Which he had lost before.
And thus we see how Preachers
That should be Gospel Teachers
How they are strangely blinded,
And are so fleshly minded
Like Carnal Men inclined
To lie with any Whore.
Written by: Anonymous
