Dear magic conch shell

What can I do to erase all the heartache?

She's such a bombshell

Blowing me up like a bomb factory pastry

I haven't seen her around this town in a while

Nah, Bikini Bottom's not the same without her

She got my boat mobile when I was out at the fields

And hit the road, leaving me in Rock Bottom

I'm tryin' to firmly grasp it

But the ending was oh so tragic

Not even Man Ray would put me through this kinda hell

Dear magic conch shell

What can I do to erase all the heartache?

She's such a bombshell

Blowing me up like a bomb factory pastry

She's been playing karate

With someone else and I'm all to blame

Now I'm throwing my doubloons in a wishing well

Mmm, what do I do, dear magic conch shell?

I ain't been back in that town for a while

Since I packed my dome and went back to Texas

I swear the lone star state will keep my lone heart safe

From another sponge giving me a heartbreak

Hang on there, little square dude

I tried my best, but my best was never good enough for you

Now I'm alone in this tree

Just thinking of you and me sayin'

Dear magic conch shell

What can I do to erase all the heartache?

She's such a bombshell

Blowing me up like a bomb factory pie while I'm watching the sunrise

She's been playing karate

With someone else and I'm all to blame

Now I'm throwing my doubloons in a wishing well

Mmm, what do I do, dear magic conch shell?

Oh, what do I do, what do I do?

Mmm, what do I do, dear magic conch shell?